Blog 14: Getting Closer

I think I am slowly starting to realize that graduation is getting closer and closer. I was driving home with my friend Mason and we began talking about how I don't manage my time well. He told me that I was gonna have trouble in college. As if realizing that we were actually going to be our own wasn't enough, we began talking about how we will most likely never talk to most of our fellow seniors after graduation. We will have to make new friends to rely on and it is very scary to think about. I am a social person. I can't survive without a bunch of people without me. I know it hasn't hit me that I will be leaving this school soon and when it does, the tears will start rolling.

Blog 13: Blackmail and Threats

I feel like my parents attempt to blackmail me all the time. They don't actually intend to do anything if I don't do what they want, they just use scare tactics to motivate me. They threaten to ground me or take something away if I don't get good enough grades or if I don't get something done in the time frame that they have given me. I wasn't allowed to go out with friends or even leave the house until I had completed all scholarship and college applications. That was a pain. But my friends also try to use these tactics in order to get what they want. I have had a friend tell me to do something and if I didn't, they would release information about me that didn't need to be known to my parents or a friend.

Blog 12: No Freedom

I don't think my mom quite understands that I am about to be an adult and be on my own. She has given me a little bit of freedom, but she hasn't realized that I need to be able to do things on my own and I need to know how to do it soon. I will graduate soon and be moving to a different city. I need to know how to get back and forth by myself if she plans om me visiting unless SHE plans on coming up to Western or Louisville and bringing me home every weekend. I don't think she would enjoy that so I really wish she would just let me go. All i want to do is take one day to visit Western on my own. Is that really that difficult? it isn't even that far. Hopefully she will lighten up soon.

Blog 9: Write About a Character In Your Life

My best friend, who goes by the name of Destinee, is a smart, generous, and caring person. She is always there for me when I need her and knows exactly what to say, but more importantly, she knows what NOT to say. I appreciate having this person in my life because she is so sweet and would do anything to help a friend out. She is fun to be around because she is so spontaneous and carefree. This is one friend I know I will stay in touch with after I graduate.

Cell Phone Etiquette

When I am with friends we are always on our phones texting because we like to stay connected. Teenagers are no longer capable of going more than 10 minutes without a phone in their possession. I think it is annoying when someone is constantly texting someone else because it makes me feel like I am not there or like I am less important. But I also believe that it is acceptable to answer a text every now and then while you are with a friend. It is hard to stay off your phone completely for a long period of time so answering messages is okay, but constant texting is just rude and annoying. It is disrespectful to the people you are with.

Blog 7: College Life

I am really excited about being a senior, but the path that my college friends are on is starting to scare me. They have returned to reality and are no longer flying high because they are "mature" and "grown-up". I knew it wouldn't be easy, but it seems to be quite hard from what I have heard. Some of my friends have decided that staying in Owensboro was their best choice, but remaining at home was not an option. I don't think I really understand why someone would put extra stress on his or herself when they could live at home for free where there is always the comfort of family. Moving into an apartment, although exciting, honestly boggles my mind. When you move in with friends, you never know what could happen. There could be a big fight and you are still stuck living with that person. One of my closest friends is coming to me with all of the issues that she has to work out, how she has two jobs, and how she is scared that she may not even be able to make ends meet. Although my college experience will be a completely different story than those that choose to stay at home, I am beginning to get a little uneasy about the whole being on my own thing.

Blog 6: A Time of Great Loss or Failure

Losing someone close to you is always hard to overcome. They may pass away or move, but both situations hurt you because that special person is no longer in your life every day. Losing my grandparents was a time of great loss for everyone in my family. Our daily routines began to change and my mom had a hard time grasping everything. Losing my closest friends was almost as hard for me personally. My best friend in high school moved away and now we never contact each other. I have no connection with her anymore and it is quite depressing.

Blog 5: A "light" in My Life Is...

I don't have to many people that I am able to look up to. I'm usually the role model for people that surround me. But my closest friends would have to be the "light" in my life. The friends that get me through the day are such a blessing to have. I talk to Whitney all day and it helps me fight through any situation. She has shown me the right way to do things and has proven to me time and time again that it is possible for me to be wrong. Brittany has been just as influential in my life as Whit. She has taught me so many life lessons that I will never forget. I appreciate these people so much. Thanks guys.

Blog 4: A "demon" in my own life is...

A demon in my life is organization. I can't stand for things to be too unorganized. It drives me crazy when things are messy or when I don't have a schedule. I like for everything to be structured and precise. Everything has to be planned out for me to be happy. I do not like it when someone springs something on me at the last time because I like to be everywhere on time. I am a very organized and punctual person.

Blog 3: Something That Scares Me

The future is one thing that definitely scares me. Not knowing what is ahead of me and what is in store is just a scary thought. I always like to know what is going to happen. I don't like feelings of uncertainty. I want to know that everything is going to be okay and what exactly is going to happen to me and my friends. But we will never know what is going to happen until it happens. I can't predict things and that scares me. Not knowing just scares me.

Blog 2: I Used To Think...

I used to think that everything happened for a reason. I used to think that when bad things happened it was supposed to be like that. I believed that there was some sort of meaning to the mayhem. Growing older and wiser I have realized that life is not fair and that there is no reason for things. Why should a teenager have to die in a car accident? Is there a reason that a child gets abandoned by her parents? What's the purpose of natural disasters? I think the real truth is that stuff just happens. There is no reason, they just do. I don't believe there is a benefit for some of these things so I have come to the conclusion that there is no reason. There is no point.

BLOG 1: Who/What is a Hero?

A hero is someone who helps others and is looked up to. They do something that others wouldn't in a time of need. A hero is someone who can be respected because of a certain action that they take. A hero does not have to be someone who puts their life in danger. Heroes are just people who act in a certain way that is respected by others.

Blogging...In Spanish

I presented an idea to Mrs. Garner today. I told her that instead of having Bell Ringers we should start blogging, but in Spanish. She thought my idea was great and said that we might try it. Instead of having random assignments, we will have our own little journals that we can write whatever we want in. We can write about our day or our life. It doesn't matter what we write as long as we are using Spanish. I think this will help us a lot in developing sentences better because we will actually be writing about everyday things. It's easier to learn when you are learning about things that you are actually going to use when you are talking. I'm actually kind of excited to start our Spanish blogs. It will be fun as well as educational. I think I am going to learn a lot more from this. My speaking might actually become structured.

British Accent

For the past week I have been speaking in a British accent pretty much 24/7. It has become a habit and I can no longer help myself. Even when I am yelling it comes out in a British accent. You can blame it all on Mason and Brittany. We have all been talking like that lately and it gets worse when we are all together. I think I'm getting very annoying to everyone around me. My father glares at me every time I open my mouth. I think he actually told me he might ground me if I didn't stop. One of the workers in the office kicked me out. She said I could either shut up or go to the back room and shut the door so no one could hear me. When people get mad I think they are just encouraging me to talk more. I'm not going to lie, I love getting on peoples' nerves. Even the kids in my class get annoyed. Some don't mind it though. And then there are some kids, like Kiersten, who embrace the British and start talking like me. It's like a virus. When you are around someone talking in an accent you start talking like them too. It becomes an involuntary action.

So Close

So, the last 9 weeks is almost halfway over for this year. I'm so excited to get this year over with. My junior year has been a whole lot of ups and down with more bad experiences than I anticipated. I went through a lot as did my friends. I just want the summer to come so I don't have to deal with all of this stress. It seems like teachers are cramming stuff in at the last minute and it is just a whole lot for all of us to deal with. I don't know how many papers I have had to write recently, but it hasn't been fun. The IB test is also stressing me out. I haven't put forth too much effort in getting ready for this test. It just hasn't been too high on my priorities list and now I think I'm going to have some trouble when I sit down and actually take it. I guess it doesn't really matter that much, but I would like to do well on it. I think all I really want is just to graduate and get out of this town. I'm ready to be on my own and get on with my life. Everything is starting to seem very immature. I know I am also still very immature, but I like to think I'm a little more mature than I show people. I put on a front as a clown who doesn't care, but deep down I really do care and I'm not as immature as I am perceived to be. I guess next year will prove if I am ready to move on to college. I hope the rest of this year runs smoothly and I wish good luck to all of my senior friends that are graduating soon.

Stupid Phones

So I have a pretty cool phone. It slides two defferent ways and has a full keyboard. For a long time I wanted to get a new phone, but I got used to the one that I have and I didn't really care up until recently. When I get mad I have a tendency to throw things especially what is in my hand at the moment. Unfortunately I'm always holding my phone so it has gone through a lot lately. I actually threw it out the car door once onto the pavement. It has stuck it out for a while, but its starting to suffer a few sicknesses. It randomly gets on the Internet. Even if you don't touch it, the phone thinks that a button was pushed. It's real weird, but that isn't what bothers me. What really upsets me is that the full keyboard no longer works. When you slide it sideways it doesn't even recognize that the phone has been touched. That side doesn't work at all and it makes me really sad because now i have to use the numbers to text. It takes me a lot longer and I get frustrated a lot because I spell things wrong more often. As Brittany says, "It's no longer a duo. It's just an uno." =(. I want a new phone. Preferably a smart phone. I think one like that would be so cool. I definitely need a full keyboard beck. I'm dying without it. I asked my dad about it and he told me I couldn't get a new one until the contract was up. It won't be up for another 6 months. Ughhh. I'm depressed just talking about it.

Lics

So my friend Brittany FINALLY got a job and I am so proud of her. Now she can pay for stuff sometimes and I won't have to pay for absolutely everything. But anyways, she doesn't have a car to get her to work so, of course, I'm her ride. I'm fine with that though. The whole point is that I have been to Lics about 10 times in the past two weeks. That is 10 more times than I had ever been there before she got the job. I spend a lot of time there. I actually did my homework there last night. It's pretty entertaining to watch the employees yell and scream at each other. Mason and Brittany try to play pranks on each other all the time. It can get pretty hilarious. Mason went a few hours one night without realizing that there was whipped cream on his butt. I got him the other day too. I poked a hole in his drink so when he grabbed it the sprite poured all over his shirt. I'm happy that this job came up for her. It has been a good experience for a lot of people.

Spring Break

I think I need to just chill out and Spring Break is well deserved. I have been under so much pressure and stress lately that I feel like I'm going to burst. I have a bunch of anger built up inside of me and I know I have blown up on a few people. Some deserved it, some didn't. I think a week to just cool down would be in my benefit. I'm going to hang out with my friends and to do whatever for a week straight.

Chelsea and I have planned out a few things that we want to do over break. Since we aren't going to Florida like everyone else in Owensboro we decided that we ill have to go to Red Lobster sometime during that week and have shrimp so we can pretend like we are there. We are also going to take a few road trips to Bowling Green and Evansville where we will probably shop until we have no money left. Of course we will be going to Taco Bell periodically because that is what we always do, but we have a bunch of other stuff planned to.

I'm sure I will probably hang out with Brittany also. I don't know if she is going to be here, but if she is we will probably do something random. We have fun when all we are doing is sitting in the floor watching a random movie or even laying in my car with the music on.

Ginger will probably want to play basketball all week if she doesn't end up going to Florida so I'm sure Legion park will be in my future also.

I'm really excited about break this year. Even though I'm not going anywhere and I am doing absolutely nothing, I know I will have fun. Doing nothing is just fine with me as long as I have my friends here to do nothing with.

Senior Friends

Wow. The school year is almost over. I have become friends with a few seniors this year and I know I am going to miss them so much. They are pretty close friends and it is going to be hard coming to school and realizing that they don't go to Apollo anymore. I hope that when they go off to college they don't forget us back here at the high school. One of my closest friends is a senior and she will be going to college next year. Fortunately she isn't going very far, but it will still be weird not having her here. The Seniors leaving is also a plus though. It means that the Juniors move up. I am going to be a Senior next year and that is a scary thought. I have no idea what I want to do or where I want to go. Next year is going to be a crazy time for me. I will have to figure out how to be on my own and a bunch of decisions are going to have to be made. I know it is going to be stressful because my friends that are seniors this year are freaking out about it every day. I'm scared to become a step closer to being an adult. I think I act mature, but really I don't want to grow up. I love having no responsibility, but it is time to get a little older and a little more mature.

My Best Friend

Okay so, I have a lot of built up anger inside of me at the moment and I'm going to let it out right now. Brittany is my best friend. I have only known her for a few months, but we are so close that you would think that we had know each other all our lives. I share everything with her even stuff that I'm afraid to tell my family. If something goes wrong in my life she is the first person that I call. She helps me get through everything and I don't think people understand that. We spend a lot of time together especially on the weekends. It's weird if we don't see each other every day. We aren't dependent on each other so I don't view it as a bad friendship, but other people do.

I have other friends telling me that she is a bad influence on me, but they don't know her like I do. They think they know what they are talking about, but they don't. They only get to hear my side of the story so of course she seems like a bad person. When I want to complain about something that is all they hear. They don't get to hear about the stuff that I say or do that was also wrong. We are both at fault, but they don't see that. I make my own decisions and I can be friends with whoever I want to be friends with. How can a friendship be bad for you? I guess that is what I just don't understand. How can someone who is always there for you and who cares about you so much be a bad thing? I don't get it.

Everyone tells me to get away. That I am just hurting myself. I know we get in our fights, but we always work it out. There is never a relationship that is perfect and without a few disagreements. We fight, but we work it out. I would do anything for her as well as many of my other friends. I think they are afraid that I am being take advantage of. I know I do a little too much for people sometimes, but I just don't like to upset people. I know people do take advantage of the situation sometimes, but it doesn't always bother me because sooner or later they return the favor.

My friends say that they are just afraid for me. They think that when I am off on my own without my best friend that I am not going to be able to handle it. They think that it will tear me apart. I'm not going to lie, it probably will mess me up for a while, but I will get over it eventually. If she's a real friend she will still be there when we are both off at college. If I don't see some people after high school then I will learn to get over. I will move on. I'm not dependent on people like some people think I am. I think for myself and make all my own decisions. I wish everyone could see that. I wish they could see things the way I see them, but apparently my perspective is wrong.