Confusion cont.

I don't think I can catch a break. I'm getting more confused by the second. This person is supposed to be my best friend, but I don't get treated like it. We went over to their house and it was like I wasn't even there. My friend got all the attention. I actually walked away for a little bit and they never even noticed. It's getting ridiculous. I don't know how to explain this. I guess I'm overreacting, but I can't help it. We fight every day and I'm getting tired of it. I finally just took my phone apart and left it in my car. I've been checking it periodically just to make sure there isn't anything important that I've missed. I have missed about 6 text messages from this person. They aren't even apologetic. Instead I'm being told that if I was a true friend I would man up and talk. All they care about is how this is making them look. They don't want to look like a terrible person and apparently everyone is asking what they did to make me so mad. Well I'm not giving in. I honestly don't think they care as much as they say they do. They care for a moment, but as soon as someone else walks by I get dropped just like that. I'm sick of this. All you care about is yourself. You take advantage of me and you don't even feel bad for it. All I want is an apology, but for you to carry out that apology. Just mean it this time.

Kelsey's House

I hang out at Kelsey's house all the time. Her mother actually introduced me as her adopted child on snow days. But I'm not only there on snow days. We all hang out there every weekend. Last night we decided to watch some movies with her dad. I'm not a big fan of scary movies, but of course everyone else is so I had no choice but to watch it with them. We watched a movie that her dad picked out and then decided that we wanted to watch something else. We drove around town for a while and found a Red Box where we got Sorority Row and The Carriers. We watched Sorority Row first. It wasn't really that scary, but it was very suspenseful. Kelsey's dad thought it would be funny to scare us so he kept calling the house phone, of course no one would answer the phone. By the tenth time Kelsey had finally caught on, God bless her soul, and so her dad went into another room. I thought he was done with the pranks, but he definitely wasn't. Right at a scary part he we hear beating on the window above my head. Chelsea and I jumped out of our chairs and sprinted across the living room. We were all in a huddle scared to death when her dad walked in laughing histerically. Yeah it was funny, but it was also very mean. We spent the rest of the movie sitting side by side on the couch. We screamed at every thought that was scary or that we thought was going to be scary. I think we kept her whole family up with our shrieks. It was a great night, but I was afraid to go to sleep. I figured I would have nightmares about getting killed with a tire iron. I didn't end up going to sleep until 4:30.

My Birthday

So my birthday is March 3rd and I am really excited about it. I will finally be 17. I know it is really just a number and I get no more freedom, but I will be one step closer to being an adult. I think I am going to spend the whole weekend with my closest friends doing whatever we want. It is going to be so much fun because hanging out with these people is all I need. It doesn't matter what we do, we always seem to have a whole lot of fun even if we sit around and watch a movie with Kelsey's dad.

For the past couple of weeks I have mentioned my birthday nonstop, but now that it is coming up I haven't said a word. I've decided to see who actually listens and if anyone will remember my birthday. It really will be sad if everyone forgets though.

I am going to bring cupcakes to my Biology class. They will definitely have to be blue so everyone can go around Apollo with blue tongues. I hope this week is a goodweek because the past few days have been really crummy. I just want everything to go over smoothly on my birthday, but it doesn't look to be going my way.

Seniors

I am going to miss our seniors so much. Basketball season is going to be so weird without them. I am especially going to miss Ginger. I looked up to her every year since I was a freshman. She was basically my role model and the only reason i didn't quit the team. She has no idea how big of an impact she has had on me, but it is true. I guess when you are older you don't realize the affect you have on younger kids. I was the only kid from college view on the basketball team besides a girl that everyone hated when I was a freshman. I didn't want to end up like her. I wanted everyone to like me so instead of talking, I kept my mouth shut so I wouldn't act stupid. I think that just distanced me even more. I never got any encouragement and I never talked to anyone on the team. All it took was a few nice words to turn everything around. All she said was "Good shot!" but for some reason it gave me hope and kept me on the team. This year I changed a lot and became a lot closer to our seniors. Ginger and Brianna are hilarious. They make playing the game fun. Bre is an excellent basketball player and without her we wouldn't have been much at all. I think, even though no one will admit it, Jana kept our team together. She was like the mom and leader of the team. She made sure we all stayed on track and we definitely needed that this season. I wish the best of luck to these 4 amazing people as they make a transition to life outside of high school. You have all been very important to me and I hold you very dear to my heart. I love you guys!

Basketball

Okay so this week I have pretty much been to a basketball game every day. It has been so crazy. Monday night was our district game against Catholic. We were playing so well. It was a bummer to lose at the end of the game. We had been ahead for most of the game, but our starters were just a little to tired by the end. It was real sad to see our season end. Next year is gonna be fun, but it wont be the same without our seniors. I really am going to miss them and all the funny stuff they do. I guess I will have to be the main driver now that Brianna and Ginger are gone. I don't know what I am going to do with all of this free time. No more practices after school. It's kind of depressing when I think about it. But I watched the boys play the next couple of days and I went to the UK game on Thursday. I hate that the boys lost last night, but they still get to play in the region so that will be exciting. Good luck to everyone thats still in season. Enjoy it while it is still going on because it can end it a matter of seconds. I turn in my stuff on Monday. I can't wait for open gym to start. I miss basketball already

Confusion

I am so confused right now. I feel like I'm being lead on by certain people and then pushed away. I just don't know how to deal with it anymore. I've tried to figure it all out, but it's like they don't even want to talk about it anymore. They don't even want to talk to me for that matter. Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I messed it all up by questioning too much, but then again what was I supposed to do? I'm getting so many mixed signals that it's crazy. One minute I'm important to someone and the next I'm barely even a friend. I just don't get it. I feel like I may have dreamed up some of the things that happened this week because they act like they have no idea what I'm talking about. Maybe it really is all a dream and I need to give up. What hurts the most is having to bare conversations about other people and the way they feel about them. I'm not going to lie, I can get pretty jealous, but some things are really uncalled for. I feel like they are trying to hurt me by even bringing someone else up. But I have to endure it because I am the best friend. I'm the person that's supposed to be there no matter what. For now I guess I will just let it be. Theres not much else I can do. I will remain that best friend that does everything. And I mean EVERYTHING for this one person. Maybe one day they will realize what is going on around them. If it's meant to happen it will. Hopefully everything will just fall into place like it's supposed to and soon.